Life's Re-Start

So I have been a little lax... Is 'lax' even a real word?  Okay, I've gone full on missing in cyberspace.  Interestingly enough, there was no search party.  No queries.  Nothing.  

And that's way a cyber relationship is not real people... 

But that said, when I started this blog, it was my intention to create dialogue.  To open a conversation, trigger some thought and say something real. 

It was my hope that people would start to follow ideas and not personalities.  But given the number of visits to the 'blogger profile', that seems to be just a pipe dream...   

But I haven't given up hope yet...

Life experience has taught me that often social truths are mistaken for reality.  Intentions mistook for outcomes and little of what we think we know, is actually the way things are. 

Wisdom has shown me that intentions are sometimes more important than outcomes.  Social truths are things other people do not want you to question and simply accept as given, usually because they serve someone else's purpose.  And that truth, when revealed to yourself can truly set you free. 

So consider this:  

Our starting point in life is always where we are now... 

Our past we cannot change, we can only change how we view it. 

Our future depends largely on the perspective we take of our past.   

Our present determines that perspective. 

So have the courage to look a little deeper.  Ask more questions.  Change something.    

Even if its simply a change in perspective. 

 

Peppered in Doubt

Finding myself in the midst a classroom this past week, I was reminded that the world I see is perhaps not the same one that most other people live in. 

They say that there are characteristics that get more entrenched with age and in this case it was highlighted in neon.  I have an inability to simply conform.  I have a seriously hard time doing it if it doesn’t make sense to me. 

You know those situations when you become acutely aware that the way you view the world is not the same as what the average person sees.  When everyone is going left, and there you are on a quest to the right.    

I wonder sometimes if we all taste the same things?  Or whether or not we all see colour the same?   

I think I am convinced that different people attune to different information in the same circumstances.  What I find relevant and what someone else finds relevant are perhaps very different things. 

I suppose too that any information we receive is also passed over an internal processing system and in my case it always comes right back to ‘why.’   

I suppose God already knows what has crossed my mind so why not be honest about it and say it out loud.  A part of me doesn’t really think that there is too much difference. 

Another part of me recognises that the differences can be very real, with far reaching consequences.

But what seems to get me in trouble the most, is the speed at which I see the consequences of something.  Sometimes I wonder if other people see it , if I am alone, or if I simply just make this crap up for the fun of it and irritate myself. 

Whatever the case, this seems to be the operational point from which I start; the root cause of my change addiction and my inability to simply keep quiet and watch things happen.    

My mother, bless her, still rolls her eyes at me and says, “must you always try and change the whole world?”

“Well..., yes, Mom”.    

I mean this is my Mom.  Surely by now, she should know that there are things that just simply need changing!  If anyone has known me my entire life, she should know...

To be honest there are days when I sometimes wish I could simply wait and see things unfold as they happen like I perceive the majority of people seem to be doing. 

And perhaps that perspective is wrong.    

What I do know, is that often I see decisions that are made that people are uncomfortable with, that are justified externally with layers of intellect but internally peppered with enormous seeds of doubt. 

Sometimes, I just think that it’s the doubt that should be given the platform a little more often.

Blood with Bubbles

A friend and I, once dressed up in the middle of August to go ‘trick or treating.’  Halloween being in October, it did amass some confusion and amusement.  We were twelve at the time.  Went to the neighbours and all and they thought we were a little bit strange but despite that, entertained us and we got juice and cookies for our efforts.  That was quite some time ago and society seems to be changing.  There are few neighbourhoods left where that sort of behaviour would be well received.    

In communities we often impose what we believe is best for everyone through social expectation rather than law and to a large extent this is more effective.  Thus, we have created a culture of silence; an expectation of conformity.  A society that simply looks the other way.   

Sometimes I wonder if what we assume ‘we know’ about the world and life, is what is actually true?  Could we have been taught wrong?  How many things have we been lied to about?   

The majority of us live lives that will not draw any attention.  We don’t raise issues, concerns or ask questions.  Then no one will judge us or condemn us.  No one will single us out of the crowd.  We will have lived a life that blended in with society and conformed to what our families expected us to do and social norms dictate.  But is that a life that will have made a difference?  Will it be a life of fulfilment, purpose and joy?  Will it have changed anything?  Is it a life that is noteworthy?     

And so the most dangerous lies I think, are the lies we tell ourselves.  Sometimes the hardest thing about life, is seeing it for what it actually is and not what we want or hope it will be someday.

 I suppose living an honest life with oneself is a challenge.  It is often easier to keep the illusions alive.  Things are going fine.  We live according to other people’s expectations and hopefully things will get better. We blend and try not to draw attention to ourselves.  And so we continue and slowly, bit by bit, we lose ourselves.      

Sometimes the truth is hidden under layers and layers of partial truths.  Partial truths are usually more effective than outright lies.  Half truths are simply more believable and can hold people in bondage much longer than overt deceit.  It’s why deception comes embedded in propaganda.    

So here’s the challenge.  To strip away the partial truths we have held on to for so long and have a good look at what is real.  Then make a decision to take action and live a life that frees ourselves to be all that we can be. 

That being said, I have been lying to myself about an addiction to Coke light and caffeine for a very long time.  By this time, it has probably changed the colour and texture of blood that my body manufactures; blood with bubbles.    

The good news, it's new year’s resolution time, so for the next few weeks, I will lie to myself and tell myself that I will change it next year, starting in January.