I had a bit of a rough week this week and so aside from not blogging there is a running list of other things that just didn’t get done. (I have to let people know that my blogging is likely to fall to about once a week as my schedule at the moment simply doesn’t allow me to give blogging the diligence it deserves).That being said, I attended the memorial service of a friend who was just in his low fifties from cancer this past week. He was a good man, but then again I have not yet attended the funeral of a bastard yet. Either they never die or it is simply culturally unacceptable to speak ill of the dead (incidentally that seems to be a universal cultural norm). I am not sure which, but in any case, that was not applicable here.
I couldn’t help but look at the situation and listen to this man’s friends, family and colleagues and wonder what would be said about me in my absence in the event of my passing. Culturally I suppose nothing too ill-gotten would be mentioned, but somehow I couldn’t help thinking, that isn’t it sad that one lives their life and everyone else gets the last word on the matter?So I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be great to plan my own eulogy. If nothing else, I would have the last word which I think is somewhat appropriate. It was my life after all.
Wouldn’t it be a dream come true to have the last word where no one can argue. You could say anything and there would be no debate.You can’t argue with a dead person.
Then I needed to laugh because I would imagine the audience would go away wondering if they actually knew the person that they thought they knew.That, and I wonder when I would finish because I seem to have something to say about just about everything.
I suppose everyone has sides, but sometimes I wonder if my life is more compartmentalised than the average person. I have boundaries and distinctions between private, personal, professional, home, hobbies, interests, sports, academics, internet presence, etc., and there are only a handful of people who know me in more than one area.
That being said, I suppose it is also possible that given the groups tend not to overlap, I could have a whole eulogy planned and even in my death be left with a lot to say and no one to say it too.
So perhaps death is a good reason to keep quiet after all... and life is the time for your voice to be heard and for you to say the things that should be said.