In Desperate Times - Bring on the Ritalin...

Okay, given the number of projects I start on a regular basis and the number of plans I have hidden up my sleeves at any given time, at some level I am sort of wondering if I should have been diagnosed with ADHD as a child. 

I even wonder if other people consider such possibilities...  Undiagnosed adult ADHD sufferers who never just quite knew what the issue was...   

So what I would like to know is whether Ritalin would enable me to continue to focus in a job that does the same thing over and over and over and over again?  Because even the previous four 'overs' are enough to lead me in search of new information, yet alone the daily grind of doing the same thing day in and day out.   

I have also been told by a friend of mine that I don’t ‘stick to things’ (bastard – who are you to judge).  And I have been analysing the situation closely wondering if perhaps there might be some truth to that as I am in search of yet other opportunities in the workplace, yet again.  Yeah, I know;  nobody wants to hear it.   

And as such while there is some evidence that suggests that might be the case; the jury is still outstanding on the verdict although my tendency to go back to school (again) was met with my editor querying whether there are support groups for people like me.  ‘Information addicts are us’ or something.    

So in an effort to collect data on the situation I proceeded to do an online Adult ADHD test.  Now the test itself has a disclaimer that states ‘this is not a diagnostic tool’. 

That said, the test scales states that:

If you scored 34 & up... You may have symptoms of Adult ADHD.

My score: 41.  (http://psychcentral.com/cgi-bin/addquiz.cgi) 

 – Yep there it is... as everyone close to me has probably suspected for a very long time.   

Now before I delve into the implications of that diagnostic, I do need to briefly reflect on the positioning and potential bias of some of the questions.  One of which refers to whether one gets irritated while waiting in a queue.  Except that the test is not South African and so it states ‘waiting in line’. 

Unfortunately, in a country that prioritizes customer service, this may be an indication, but nobody who ever goes to a bank on a weekend at month end in South Africa comes out with the same blood pressure they went in with.  You see, here, instead increasing the speed of customer service, we put chairs and television sets to entertain the queue while they wait.  Like watching the third rerun of some dated television show / sports programme is going to disguise the irritation that an hour and a half has pasted while you were waiting in line. 

Thus I have concluded that those departing with ‘no irritation’, probably have ‘no pulse.’ 

Does that then mean we have a whole country with high levels of ADHD?  I doubt it.  Wide spread lousy customer service - maybe.   

Truth be told, I wonder how many kids diagnosed with ADHD just process information differently. 

From experience, information I receive needs to have a use and a purpose and fit into information already in my brain.  It also gets rewritten in a different format (implications, importance, etc.) before storing, – into what I deem to be, ‘a more useable format J’. Thus, yes, there is a lot of noise and static in my brain.  That said; I struggle to reproduce exactly what someone else has done and said, a characteristic which has shown up in my school marks my entire life – especially in an environment where regurgitation is considered more desirable than critical thinking.  And so I find memorisation to be extremely difficult, but critical thinking and strategy come much easier.      

Thus, I will need to delve into my mind and see how far the jury is in the diagnostic as there appears to be substantial evidence both for and against...        

Upon an analysis of the evidence, I may be inclined to allow myself to be diagnosed as suffering from an information compulsion, disorganised, variety obsessed, and a change addict, etc., but would to prefer to leave my brain free of drugs that will force it to process information like most other people do even if it might improve my memory – and there are days I feel like I need that - like when I am looking for my keys that are in my hand..    

That said, I am somewhat inclined to consider seriously the diagnosis of ‘ADHD’.  I think it’s dangerous to put children into a box that will enable them to reason away internally whatever weaknesses they may have and maybe even force them to change the way their brain processes information.  PS – one of my degrees (yes, complete... why are you asking) is in psychology.

My recommendation with the luxury of hindsight would be to consider making the environment as stable and predictable as possible for these children who have high levels of internal chaos.  And I would urge parents to seriously consider the implication of giving children learning medications.  I am not saying don’t do it, but urge you to look seriously at the matter and take into account possible alternatives.        

I was the kid who would be highly likely to be diagnosed with ADHD in today’s society.  A diagnosis that I was never given over even tested for.  Thankfully I grew up in a relatively structured and predictable environment; enough to give me some balance to my internal chaos.  And so despite of exhibiting many of the ADHD symptoms, I have come to the conclusion that the score of 41 should be ‘shoved’. 

What usage would it serve me aside from giving me a medical reason why ‘I can’t...?     

As a result, I am forced to live with a mind that whose internal jury system is able to hang itself and intent on a continual quest for new information.  A mind I often wish came with an off switch. (Ritalin perhaps?)  Note to self - consider for further exploration. 

I suppose it just might be one of those perils of being a change addict because nothing will change if we all think alike...

 

Icon Escapism

My friends and I went to see a soap opera actor once when he was in town.  It was a long time ago in high school.  It was supposed to be very exciting.  Truth be told, it was my friends who were big on this.  I was the tag along.  I wasn’t even sure who he was; I just knew he acted on the soap opera ‘All My Children’ which I was not allowed to watch.  I am not dissing his acting or anything, I just had limited access to that sort of information and wasn’t interested in seeking it out.  So we went and got our picture taken and got the autograph, of which I still have neither.  It went into file thirteen.  (My ex’s contribution and that is a whole other blog)  But that’s besides the point, we went with a group of friends when we teenagers.  It was fun and it was an evening out.  

But that was sort of old school.  These days, you can stalk people up close and personal in cyberspace and they ‘answer’.  My daughter and her friend were quite excited that her celebrity crush answered their ‘happy birthday’ message back (well someone did anyway).

Which I told her and she was like, “Ahhh... Mom, why do you gotta kill my joy”.

To which I replied:  “Someone has to do it”.     

I find it interesting that in cyberspace, people read and seem to comment based on stereotypes or even follow people that they think they know and so actors and singers hold some of the largest following.  Funny how people who are paid to pretend they are someone they are not carry some of the most influence in society today.  I somehow find that amusing, somewhat worrisome and definitely ironic.    

The entertainment industry has an influence on media space and the growing disconnect in society’s relationships as a result of increased individualism are feeding an icon fascination much of which is hyped, staged and fabricated.  But who cares, it makes money and creates a high level of dissatisfaction which in turn makes people spend more money to make themselves feel better.  It’s a brilliant business model.

In any case, it would appear that the cyber-community seems to have a strong desire to follow someone that they know something about and can recognise, regardless of whether the other party would recognise them back in return.  And so it has been somewhat interesting to note that the distance between ‘followers’ and ‘the followed’ feels closer than in generations past and yet is in actuality further, given that there is no real relationship present.

So someone we think we know, who doesn’t know us, we can follow.  Someone whose ideas we identify with, but we cannot recognise, we engage with, from a safe distance. 

The question is why. 

What makes us buy the perception that we really have a relationship with Celebs?    

Is it because we know more of their business then our own? 

And could that be a coping strategy? 

Escapism perhaps?   

.

The Devil of Procrastination

I am back to writing the day before publication. 

That is one habit, I cannot seem to shake.  The devil of procrastination.  How is it that for me the relationship between deadlines and doing is so strongly correlated?  Perhaps I need to journey back to my childhood to find the answer to that question. But I will leave that for those visits with my paid best friend, and since I am suffering cash flow issues at the moment, that will have to wait for another lifetime.  

The problem with blogging is that we are back to ambiguous attempts at sourcing last minute topics and so I thought to myself, perhaps I should have a look at blogs that are popular.  You know, put myself in mainstream market.

So let’s see, fashion..., well..., after careful consideration, I think I will just leave that up to the experts.  I personally wear clothes  (I know - that is a serious disclosure of note) and I would like them to look good, but generally would prefer to spend my time discussing things other than clothes.  I mean just how much can be said about shoes before we reach overkill?

Apparently quite a lot since society has not yet arrived at the level of overkill yet.  Some of us have lower thresholds of tolerance.  Clearly.  It was probably the playing with tractors growing up instead of dolls; ruined me for life.  Thank God. 

Alternatively we can discuss our children.  Yeah that’s good too for a while, but eventually I think those who do it too often have become too highly invested in the lives of their children to the neglect of their own.   

Or how about a classic blog on relationships?  See, relationships are a fascinating topic.  I enjoy this topic.  I just don’t think it is necessarily a topic that people are very honest about.  We do relationships according to our own unfulfilled needs and societies expectations and if you have never looked at what you are looking for or where you are going; it is generally a recipe for disaster. 
 
The ‘can’t get out of bed’ and eat nothing but ice cream for the whole weekend disaster.  Ice cream being the silver lining in the situation. 

But hey, in the mean time feel free to take the compatibility tests, learn how to seduce your man / woman (whichever strikes your fancy, temporarily) and find out which shoes will attract the right sort of relationship into your life, how to stop being the other woman / man,... blah, blah, blah.  Something like that.    

Yeah... so the change addict in mainstream is probably not such a great idea because I am of the candid opinion that the mainstream market needs to change its interests just a little.  I know, wishful thinking...    

So while we touched a little bit of everything in the time being I should confess that I have a paper to write on the relationship between poverty and governance.  I know, a little heavy for blogging, but at least this blog allowed me to do what I do best: 

A little procrastination.    

 

 

Man's Best Friend is also Man's Best Replacement

The balancing act between what can be said, what should be said and that which should be left unsaid seems to be where the boundaries of etiquette are shrouded in fog; discernible only by those who have high levels of EQ (emotional intelligence). 

The art of ‘come ons’ seem to be positioned right about in the middle.  The most savvy are those with dual interpretation which allow for a duplicity of meaning.  This way there is an avenue of retreat, should the response of the party to which it is directed, be less than favourable.

Armed with a lighter and offering to ‘light someone’s fire’ at a braai (BBQ), has a definite double meaning and you will likely get away with it.  Albeit, you would be pushing your luck.  Saying that in the workplace, probably less than easily ‘back-peddlable’.   

I suppose those who regularly push those boundaries become exceedingly practiced in which case gives rise to yet another phenomena; heightened levels of charm and lowered levels of substance.  The problem with charm is that it is generally a reflection of an inner need to be seen and noticed which contributes substantially toward that same charm being readily and freely available to anyone with the slightest indication of interest. 

In lay-mans terms: ‘a player.’

And since I encountered one this week, up close and personal, the only conclusion I was forced to come to is that 29 is definitely too old for ‘that shit’.               

The good news is that 29 is not too old to be ‘come on to’.  So it was a little flattering.    

The bad news is that the quality of the selection of men, as time passes by, seems to deteriorate.  The good ones get taken.  So, I know it’s not a politically correct thing to say but; I have almost concluded that I should be looking for a man with a dead wife. 

And not just any dead wife because that too can be risky.  These days, even the circumstances around the death need careful consideration.  One that died in an accident.  And not any ‘accident’ either; you know what I mean.  Consider Oscar.  ‘Accidents’ involving bullets don’t count.    

So the long and short of it is simply this.  By the time you reach ‘29’, the pickings are thin. 

But despite that, what I do know is that the right man is still important and that life has taught me that it’s better to get a dog, than have the wrong man around. 

I mean dogs are great.  They are always happy to see you when you get home.  They know when you have had a bad day, understand that they must simply listen and not try and fix the problem and would lay down their lives to protect you.  

They will happily keep you warm and are content to simply curl up at your feet. 

Many a man could learn something...  

 

            

Due to a Donkey Shortage...God must be Bald

God must be bald. 

I know there are things that you just don't say, and that statement might be one of them.  But let's think about this for a moment. 

Have you ever considered how many times you get irritated in a day?  Then out of the irritations, calculate how many of them are actually caused by other people either in your life or through daily human encounters, at the shop, on the roads...

Factor into the equation, how many of those incidents are sparked by highly not so intelligent behaviour and or intellect...

And how many times do you really feel like pulling out your hair on a weekly basis? 

...

Multiply that by the population and factor in the number of incidents calculated from the beginning of time. 

See?  God must be bald. 

By now he has pulled out every hair He ever had and has gotten tired of speaking into the world every rotation for additional hair which probably by the time the earth is halfway back to Greenwich Meridian time, is long gone again. 

No seriously, consider all those very serious issues that ‘Christians are busy with’.  (I am picking on Christians assuming that those talk to God on a more consistent basis.)  I mean very serious things like whether it is okay to be associating people of other faiths, or being seen in a pub  or how much grass has been consumed for the pardon of sins (seriously there is a church that does that too).  

No wonder non-believers would prefer to keep their distance.  Raving bunch of lunatics we are, not to mention the stress of having to pick the right church because according to the ‘other churches,’ most members of those ‘other churches’ probably ‘ain’t gonna make it’ to heaven either...

Eish.  High Stress.  Total Confusion.
 
And how about wearing hats in church...  There, now that is serious.  There are some churches who do not allow women in church without a hat.  God created male and female naked in the garden in the Garden of Eden, and now, hats are seriously high on His to do list in the midst of starving children, wars and diseases. 
  
No, I understand, there is a verse in the bible and maybe you’re right that scripture has nothing to do with modestly and character and everything to do with the hat.  I personally, seriously ‘doubt it.’  But hey; ...maybe!
.....

Sorry, what was that you were saying?

.....
Yes, I know, I will not be getting into heaven through the front door. Thanks for that.    
    
And how about... dare I say it... women in church office.  Now there’s a very serious issue.  Churches have even split over this issue.  I kid you not.  Sadly.  Women should not be allowed to lead in church.  I mean God is seriously worried about this issue.  I mean it’s right on the dividing line between heaven and hell and so we simply cannot afford to get this wrong.
 
So let’s consider the following:  God used a donkey to warn Balaam not to go up and curse the Israelites.  The donkey saw an angel in the path and actually spoke (Numbers 22).
     
So if need be: God is willing to use a donkey. 

And the bible also says that if the disciples did not praise him ‘the stones will cry out’.  (Luke 19:40)

And so, well God’s calling of the following women prophets and leaders; Huldah (2Kings 22:14), Anna (Luke 2:36), Deborah (Judges 4), Queen Esther (Esther)... etc. to mention a few known examples, could only have meant, that there was a serious shortage of donkeys in the land.    

So multiple all that intelligence by the world’s population and there you have it. 

GOD MUST BE BALD!

A Tribute to Former President Nelson Mandela

The passing of Former South African President Nelson Mandela features on front page news around the world.

Its a modern day Joseph story; spend 27 years in prison as a political prisoner and end up as the president of a country. It was a life that has captured the imaginations of people world-wide.

Being overseas at the moment I feel like I am watching the events through the lens of someone else's perception. I cannot help but notice that along with a life that large, comes a huge amount of expectation.

What is highlighted regularly is the gap between the political freedom of South Africa and its continued lack of economic freedom. So the question for me is this one.

Whose responsibility is it? Can the lack of economic opportunity be attributed to the shortcomings of the life of a single man? Or is that an expectation of an icon that has been made to be larger than life?

And so: Is his greatness attributable to the positions he filled or the convictions he held?

I doubt that during the Rivonia Trial, Nelson Mandela saw his future as the President of South Africa. At that point I can imagine he only saw possible death or a life spent in prison.

He was a man who simply valued his beliefs more than he valued his life. And so justice, freedom and equality were ideals for which he was prepared to lose his life.

His memorial attracted the who's who of the world.  And the cynic in me cannot help but wonder if it is the values of equality, justice and freedom that the world wants so desperately to publicly associate with or is it the last opportunity to rub off a little of 'Madiba's magic'?  

And so to carry on the legacy of Nelson Mandela is to adopt his thinking not necessarily his political party. A country and world that holds the ideals of justice, freedom and equality as standards for which people are prepared to die, will build a bright future for itself.

But to a large extent it would appear that these ideals are ones which people feel they are entitled too, rather than feel inclined to sacrifice for or work toward.

When ideals are held higher than life itself, that is when history changes. It is when the church grows, tyrannical governments lose power, new regimes get established and justice starts to win over injustice.

Although the world might see former President Nelson Mandela as an icon. Nelson Mandela himself, did not. Having met him a few years back as part of a youth service programme for which I worked, Nelson Mandela himself was touched that a group of young people had the time to come and visit 'an old man'. A comment to which one of the participants of the programme said, "It's like Nelson Mandela doesn't know that he is Nelson Mandela". And therein lay his greatness.

Fighting a struggle because you have nothing to lose, is a fight that has many willing participants. Taking up a cause that will potentially cost you everything you have, is a war that attracts very few warriors.

And that was the greatness of Nelson Mandela. Rest in Peace Tata Madiba.  May your legacy live on... the world needs it.

Miss, Mrs, Ms, ...

I tend to buy strongly into the philosophy of 'common sense' rather than holding someone that society has deemed ‘an expert’ in high esteem.  I suppose it is possible that this might be a direct result of my obsession with the ‘why’s’ of life.  Or a conclusion based on multiple experiences over the years which resulted in my wondering just how it was possible that this person is an 'expert' in their field regardless of the position he / she may have held at the time.  Try and sit through a random conversation about having your cervix stitched close and see if you view doctors the same way.    

I think the level at which knowledge is available and added to in modern society, almost negates the idea that someone can maintain expertise without a constant quest and focus in a specific area of learning.  And so I have a high level of scepticism when it comes to ‘expertise’. 

Perhaps it is a reflection of my own quest for knowledge which has led me to question regularly what is generally considered to be accepted knowledge.  I’m pretty okay with concepts like 'gravity;' we used to play 'circus' as kids and believe me when I say we always came down, but struggle a little bit more with ideas like 'identity' for example.  I prefer to define myself.     
    
But despite my general scepticism of ‘experts’, I am still considering attaining a PhD.  I know..., but I did tell you that I reserve the right to change my mind. 

Actually my consideration has more to do with the title than the actual papers ‘ascertaining my expertise’. 

“But what about your comment about position and it not being held in high esteem”...blah, blah, blah or something like that, you’re thinking... 

No, I am afraid it is a much more trivial reason than attaining a title linked to professionalism.  I am simply seeking a title that is not linked to my marital status. 

You see, growing up, I was a ‘Miss’.  Got married and became a ‘Mrs.’ Now after the divorce I am forced to go by ‘Ms’. 

If I were a man, I would have simply been ‘Mr,’ despite the changing circumstances in my personal life.  So as far as I can tell, the only title as a woman that you actually keep and it belongs to you, is ‘Dr.’  Because now if I marry again, the cycle starts all over... back to ‘Mrs.’ ‘take two’.   I am simply a little tired of the double standard and so I think becoming a ‘Dr,’ just might need to be looked at  more seriously.

Has anyone ever asked besides me, “Why is that”?  Why are there different titles for women that communicate clearly her marital status?  Seriously, just who was that intended to benefit?  Definitely not women.  

Men, out of curiosity, how many of you are guilty of checking out a woman and referring to the title section of the form she has just filled out for her marital status?  Yeah, I thought so.              

If nothing else, the title ‘Dr.’ can survive marriage, divorce and the death of a spouse.  Society gives that to men for free, am I the only one who finds this double standard a little hard to swallow?  Incidentally, if I ever suffer from Alzheimer’s disease someday, I wonder to which title I will regress. 

But at least it’s good to know that at least there is something that men will remember.      

 

Styling Boxers

Fashion trends are a dime a dozen and tend to change year on year.  And after a certain number of years, about 12-18 years or so I figure, they tend to repeat themselves and come back into style when the next generation think that they have discovered something new.   'Bell bottoms' to 'boot legs' for example.  Degrees of extreme may vary, as will the name, but the concept; been there, done that.      

So contrary to popular belief, it’s actually not true what they say about old people.  They don’t tend to go out of style.  They are simply ahead of the rest of us.  They see the latest fashion trends and they know better.  It’s simply a conscious decision not to go back there again after they have probably done it at least twice already and learned from the process.  

And ‘Lumo’ should not even be done twice for that matter.   

Some fashion trends however, have effects that are much longer lasting than just the season and it’s not so easy to just let them go. 
 
How about the boxers, then the pants, and the walk that comes with it that has been adapted to actually keep the pants sort of above the thighs.  I believe the walk used to be called bow-legged and was caused by a medical condition.  Now they call it ‘wicked’ or ‘cool’. 

I asked my niece the other day if we should stop and tell this boy, walking along the street, that pants were designed to actually cover his backside.  “No seriously, someone needs to tell him because clearly he has no idea”.  I tried to convince her.  I think she wanted to crawl into the boot (trunk) and make like she has no idea who this woman is.  So to save her unnecessary stress, we passed by. 

I wonder sometimes how I would handle this trend if I needed to at my house.  And I think the approach would be simple.  For starters, the key to having pants worn above the buttock is buying strategic boxers: They need to be silk and they need to be embarrassing.

Black with little pink hearts, little red cars, ‘I love my Mom’, you know, hip and happening stuff that would thoroughly ruin the boy’s reputation should they ever be spotted in public. 

As far as I can tell, this would truly be an act of love, because this is one fashion trend that will have consequences long after it is no longer in style. 

The walk will have become a habit, and so there will be many bow-legged young men in their tuxes on their wedding days and walking into the board room with pants securely fastened, but the trade-mark walk of ‘wicked’ still apparent as they skin their knees on the row of chairs on their way to the head of the table.   

The reality is that as one looks at these young man and watches them walk, any parent would recall that they had seen them walking this way once before between 12 to 18 years ago. 

The recollection might be foggy, but it usually had something to do with state of affairs in their diaper at the time. 

You see, I rest my case, fashion trends do indeed repeat themselves. 

In this case, I am simply hoping, we won’t venture back here again and the man my daughter marries someday has a mother who loved him dearly.    

The Muddied Waters between Legal and Illegal

My hat goes off to the person saying that they have never been involved in so much as thinking about crime.  That’s impressive.  Commendable even and somewhat unbelievable to a mind (mine) who, if I didn’t know Jesus, has a pretty good idea of what sort of trouble I’d be into.

I just think that some things should just not really be considered crimes.  A good con is a battle of wits, not a full on crime.  Perhaps it should be decriminalised and be categorizes as a dual of intellect.  Like chess or gambling.  There is a winner and a loser.  And that’s legal.  How different is it really?   

I mean if you’re a 52 year old man and this 23 year old woman, from some foreign country wants to come and visit you and she takes off with your money after you voluntarily send it to her, whose fault is it really?  Be honest. 

I just wonder about the thinking.  Wow, this girl is impressed with my personality in cyberspace?  Come on.  That’s not a crime, it’s a donation.

It’s very similar to the dating process.  That’s also pretty much a game of con too.  We dress up and go out.  Pretend we wake up in the morning with make-up, smiling and laughing a lot ... and smelling like flowers.

Guys, you’re not that different...        

Come on, move past the shock, and focus.  How many of you ended up married to someone who had a side of them you knew almost nothing about?  I know I sure did.  Partially conned into marriage?  Flat out conned into marriage – perhaps?

The process of dating as far as I am concerned is essentially flawed.  There is more pretence than anything else and the problem is: its hard work keeping up that standard of pretence for the next fifty years.    

And what about business networking: How different is that?  It's about showing the side of you that is aligned with what people are looking for.  We have even given it a name: personal branding.

I work in communications and I can promise you, there’s much more to something than what is on the label and what is not communicated is much more telling than what is actually said.

So essentially we have established that it is legal to misrepresent oneself in dating and business, but illegal elsewhere?  Am I the only one who thinks the line is becoming just a little bit blurry?  

So if I ever give crime a go, you’ll know where to find me... in an evening gown and (a miracle working) bustier, perhaps a touch of botox, with a glass of champagne in my hand...  

‘Ooohhhh Darling, it’s soooo lovely to see you...’

But hey, no cause for concern; still too young for that... 

Yet...

Life’s Irony

Sometimes the irony of life catches even me off guard.  I had a seriously thick moment not so long ago (‘thick’ in this context defined as ‘not so clever’, ‘a little less than bright’ or ‘a few bricks short of a load’).  I live in a much more violent society than I grew up in and I do not want a gun in my house because I think accidents can happen really easily and fast and there is no turning back time after that. So in an effort to be proactive, I decided to go and learn self-defence.

‘Good idea’ you’re thinking.  And so thus far, I have learned ground work and basic self-defence and have now graduated a level on to ‘weapons’ and spent a day recently learning how to “hold and cock” a gun properly. 

The ‘change addict’ with a gun.  God help us all.

Seriously; how does a decision made in an effort to avoid using a gun land up with me learning exactly what it is that I was avoiding to start with?

Truth be told, I am not sure what I was thinking; should have taken knitting class.  Stabbing someone with a knitting needle seems a little less permanent and more prone to intentional accidental damage with higher prospects of survival on the part of the other party.          

But I, somehow; did not see this one coming, which incidentally doesn’t happen to me very often.  Perhaps I should have, but still didn’t.   It has my mind seriously reeling. 

You see, in self-defence you learn how to disarm an armed (wo)man; which results in you becoming armed; the state of being you took self-defence to begin with, in order to avoid.   

And the problem is this, when you have disarmed someone else of their gun; what do you do with it now...?  

Good question.   

If you throw it into the bushes, they might retrieve it and the chances of you getting it back are slim...  They will shoot from a distance next time. 

Disarming it requires know-how and causes distraction...  You may not have the time. 

So left with little choice, you cock it and aim and better at least look like you know what you are doing. 

The question is:  Can I live with the consequences?  And that is the question I seem to be battling with. 

So the moral of the story is simple.  Don’t leave home without your knitting needles.          

 

           

Toilet Habits of the Criminally Minded (random survey)

Random Survey Nov '13

There is a prominent court case that is set to go to trial in the first quarter of next year in South Africa.  Now I understand that everyone has a right to a trial and to be presumed innocent until proven guilty and therefore, I am going to stay away from any discussion regarding speculation about the ‘guilt’ or the ‘innocence of Olympic blade runner, Oscar Pistorius.

According to media reports, “ The 26-year-old Paralympian, from South Africa, is accused of shooting Ms Steenkamp to death at their home on Valentine's night, but claims he opened fire on the 29-year-old after mistaking her for an intruder.” 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2396965/Tearful-Oscar-Pistorius-charged-court-murdering-girlfriend-Reeva-Steenkamp-trial-date-set-March.html#ixzz2jndhoIVt

Court testimony also tells us that his girlfriend was shot through the bathroom door. 

Now this blog is not about the trial itself as that will take its course in due time.  But these bits of information are important, because these statements might possibly highlight a new trend in crime that we are unaware of, and that social research has probably previously never even considered exploring. 

 And so as a starting point in an effort to better understand this potentially new emerging social phenomenon, I paused in my quest, and googled ‘Famous Crimes in History where the perpetrators  stopped to go pee’.  

I didn't find any.  Can you believe it, there is something that Google has missed. 

But just because we can’t find it, doesn’t mean it never happened.  It just means that perhaps, its occurrence is highly unusual and definitely not the norm... which confirms the need for a high number of responses in this month’s random survey to the following questions:

1.  During the course of a break-in, have the burglar(s) ever paused to use your loo? 
2. If you answered yes to the previous question, please tell us where the toilet was located? 

3. If you were to plan / commit a crime, would you allocate a break for the use of facilities?

Hey, conclude what you like.  I’m just saying... 

So in the pursuit of knowledge, please complete this month's random survey

Alone in ‘The Act’

I recently heard a sermon on the woman caught in adultery and brought before Jesus to be stoned (the Law of Moses states that adultery was a sin that needed to be punished by stoning).  The bible is specific, she was “caught in the act” by the men who brought her to Jesus’ feet (John 8).  But what I would like to know, is how exactly she was “caught in the act” alone?  What happened from the point of being caught, to being placed at Jesus’ feet without her partner in crime?

I mean, as far as I know ‘the act’ takes a minimum of two people.  These days... no... I won’t even go there.  But since no archaeologist that has unearthed an ancient equivalent of the vibrator, I imagine the other side of the story, not recorded, reads something like this: 

They were caught in the act and dragged out onto the street.  After a series of high fives amongst the men (some things do not change), out of the sight of the woman of course, a brief exchange of tips on ‘better locations’ to engage in activities such as these, these men were like, “get lost you fool and don’t be dumb enough to get caught again.” And thus, he was sent to run down the street in his ‘Mickey Mouse’ boxers.  (After all, it‘s difficult to judge someone for something we are also guilty of.)  It’s a classic male cover-up story.      

But being men of ‘upstanding public moral character,’ they needed to be seen to be doing something and so proceeded to take the woman before Jesus in an attempt to trap him too...         

The sermon missed that part of the story (probably because it’s not actually recorded) and focused only on the grace given to the woman.     

I love church.  It’s great fodder for humour.  There are so many rules, expectations, clichés and questions not asked.  Seldom do we look further other than just what is on the bible page.  And so such are the social norms that form the foundation for an enormous culture of pretence in the majority of churches.  Praise Jesus.  These things are not new.  I just think they are more a reflection of human’s attempt at perceived godliness than are a reflection of God at all.

Our understanding of God perhaps is somewhat incomplete.  I mean God is serious and so church should be serious...  Or perhaps, God is not so serious after all...

Ever wonder why there are so many health benefits that come from laughter?  If God is so serious, why, as beings created in His image, do we all laugh?  Or why do we learn to laugh before we learn to talk?  Laugher must be an enormous part of who God is.  I imagine that even He chuckled at the accuracy of ‘other side of these events’ recorded, a few thousand years after the affair... 

Well..., okay..., I concede; it may not have been ‘Mickey Mouse’ boxers.

 

            

On Stuffed Toys...

As a twenty year old, (yes - nine years back – I believe they call that new maths), I once received a stuffed bear as a Christmas present from my current boyfriend and wasn’t all that impressed with the gift (translation: Politically correct for insulted, irritated and annoyed). 
  
For starters, I figured that stuffed bears were for children.  And what exactly did the stuffed bear mean anyway?  Did this man figure I was like a child?  Or was he looking for parent-child relationship not a partner?   But liking this man, led me to pretend that I liked the gift and the relationship continued... for a while...  A short while.  Not even long enough for him to become the ex-husband.

 The bear lasted a little longer however, and my daughter dragged it around by its purple bow tie when she was little.
 
I wonder, why do men give women stuffed toys?  Who came up with that idea anyway?  Am I the only woman who finds the stuffed toys a little inappropriate or gets irritated come time for Valentine’s Day with all the mugs and stuffed bears on public display?  Maybe I am.  It could be a case of misguided gender specific interests; after all I can spend more time in a hardware store looking at tools than shopping for clothes.  So I seriously doubt I speak for all women.

So, since I am not out to write the ten commandments of dating, I will concede that under some circumstances the gift of a plush beast can work; as a reminder of an occasion or event, as a...  No, that’s about all I can think of. 
      
In any case, I must concede that the stuffed toy did work really well for me once.  I was sent flowers for Valentine’s Day; a huge bouquet of roses and lilies with a stuffed bear.  Actually, I was sent two huge bouquets of roses and lilies with stuffed animals thanks to a mixed up internet transaction, not an overzealous stalker.  Yes, at the office.  Yes, a lot of comments.  I had more flowers sent to me that day than will grace my coffin someday; so at least I got to experience that when I was alive. 

Sorry..., mental distraction..., back to the working of the stuffed toys.  You see, they worked because the flowers were for me and the stuffed animals were for my daughter (who was nine at the time). 

That’s when the stuffed bear became classy. 


   

 

That Darn Dash

 
On the same trip to the Netherlands, we went to see the gravesite of my Oma and Opa (grandparents).  The funny thing about standing there was that everything they had done, worked on and built during their lifetime came down to a dash.  A birth date, ‘a dash’ and a date of death.  

Lives complete.  Totally summed up in a dash.    

The farm they built up and left behind – which is no longer in the family “-“. 

The crops they planted and harvested “-“. 

The life they lived “-“. 

How many of the things that we do on a daily basis are going to leave something of value behind?  That ten million Dollars which cost every hour of everyday of a lifetime turns into a “-“ (which if that is all you have done becomes what the family fights over).  Incidentally it doesn’t even get you a longer dash, or a curvy one or one that says anything about what you accomplished.   

If I look at the contribution I made at a previous workplace, much of what was built has already been turned into something else or taken apart again.  I find it disturbing that despite all the effort and work that we do, how little of it actually has meaning and can continue contributing to the world.  Will the world know that I was in it and left it better than it would have been if I had not been here?  So when I leave, what will I have done that stayed beyond that darn dash? 

In tribute to those same grandparents are almost 100 (94 and counting) descendants of children and grandchildren still left behind (3 others have also subsequently passed including my father).  Additionally there are a number of other families that also survived the war as a result of the efforts of my grandparents.   

A well raised family goes beyond the dash.  So here’s to all you parents who take your commitment and roles as parents intentionally and seriously.  The efforts you are putting in right now in your families last beyond the dash.  So take heart and do it well and take note; it’s the people that count.    

So if there is going to be a birth date, a dash and a death date, I would like an additional phrase on my tombstone.  “She died at 29”.  At least, if nothing else, those who see it will look at the dates do the mathematics and scratch their heads asking; “Why 29”? 

At least let the ‘why’ continue...