‘Dissed’ by my Daughter

I went to the doctor recently as I was having some chest pains.  I am a little bit negligent in the up-keep of regular doctor check-ups and what not; After all, why go and look for bad news? 

But anyways, I was experiencing a little pain and figured; I better go and check it out.  Maybe I had a lump in my breast or something. 

So when sharing this information with my daughter, she was like: “but Mom, wouldn’t you be able to see it?”  Now in essence, I am not writing this to belittle anyone who has found abnormalities anywhere in their bodies.  

But this statement in my case had very particular implications.  You see, while pregnant, I was a good ‘A’ cup bra size but in everyday life I am pushing hard on a regular basis to fill in an ‘A cup’.  I am not what anyone would ever refer to as 'well endowed.' 
 
In fact, I need to shop carefully for bras to ensure that the cups are not prone to denting lest I accidentally bump into someone and be walking around with an ‘inverted boob’ for the remainder of the day. 

So the comment about being able to ‘see the bump’ was in essence saying that what I have is two small bumps at the moment and so any additional lump, no matter what size, should be easily visible. 

This is truly a whole other level of parenting.  When your children start to out develop, outperform and outsmart you.  It highlights a need for me to regroup in the parenting department and draft some new policy and strategies to deal with this more advanced level of parenting, clearly now required.     

So the doctor’s appointment yielded no lump, just some trauma to my pectoral muscles; cured by lowering my exercise level temporarily and some aspirin to take down the inflammation.  So all in all, the diagnosis is not too serious. 

It’s just taking my ego a little longer to recover however...   

Styling Boxers

Fashion trends are a dime a dozen and tend to change year on year.  And after a certain number of years, about 12-18 years or so I figure, they tend to repeat themselves and come back into style when the next generation think that they have discovered something new.   'Bell bottoms' to 'boot legs' for example.  Degrees of extreme may vary, as will the name, but the concept; been there, done that.      

So contrary to popular belief, it’s actually not true what they say about old people.  They don’t tend to go out of style.  They are simply ahead of the rest of us.  They see the latest fashion trends and they know better.  It’s simply a conscious decision not to go back there again after they have probably done it at least twice already and learned from the process.  

And ‘Lumo’ should not even be done twice for that matter.   

Some fashion trends however, have effects that are much longer lasting than just the season and it’s not so easy to just let them go. 
 
How about the boxers, then the pants, and the walk that comes with it that has been adapted to actually keep the pants sort of above the thighs.  I believe the walk used to be called bow-legged and was caused by a medical condition.  Now they call it ‘wicked’ or ‘cool’. 

I asked my niece the other day if we should stop and tell this boy, walking along the street, that pants were designed to actually cover his backside.  “No seriously, someone needs to tell him because clearly he has no idea”.  I tried to convince her.  I think she wanted to crawl into the boot (trunk) and make like she has no idea who this woman is.  So to save her unnecessary stress, we passed by. 

I wonder sometimes how I would handle this trend if I needed to at my house.  And I think the approach would be simple.  For starters, the key to having pants worn above the buttock is buying strategic boxers: They need to be silk and they need to be embarrassing.

Black with little pink hearts, little red cars, ‘I love my Mom’, you know, hip and happening stuff that would thoroughly ruin the boy’s reputation should they ever be spotted in public. 

As far as I can tell, this would truly be an act of love, because this is one fashion trend that will have consequences long after it is no longer in style. 

The walk will have become a habit, and so there will be many bow-legged young men in their tuxes on their wedding days and walking into the board room with pants securely fastened, but the trade-mark walk of ‘wicked’ still apparent as they skin their knees on the row of chairs on their way to the head of the table.   

The reality is that as one looks at these young man and watches them walk, any parent would recall that they had seen them walking this way once before between 12 to 18 years ago. 

The recollection might be foggy, but it usually had something to do with state of affairs in their diaper at the time. 

You see, I rest my case, fashion trends do indeed repeat themselves. 

In this case, I am simply hoping, we won’t venture back here again and the man my daughter marries someday has a mother who loved him dearly.