Monday, 6 January 2014

Resolve Not...

It has been five days since the beginning of the New Year and by now the challenge of keeping those New Year’s resolutions have become an all consuming mind mission.  I will exercise...  I won’t eat that brownie...  I will not call him...  I will not get older this year... I won’t...  I must...  I should... I will... I can’t... 

 These are the mental mind games that I am simply giving myself a break from this year. 

Those all encompassing goals and ambitions and measurements of success that have become the yardstick by which we measure ourselves and each other, I am giving myself  permission to pass. 

And so every year it would seem that we start the year focusing intensely on what we just do not like about ourselves.  Things we would like a magic wand for which would just make it all disappear and thus in the process we have inadvertently turned these things into the measure of our value. 

I have decided to let this go. 

Number one: Simply because I will probably never quite get organized without some serious psychological treatments probably long since outlawed. (It has been an ongoing resolution with a high level of predictability of outcome). 

And two:  I will probably never learn to spell either and eventually there was such a thing as spell check.   

 I have learned that there are things that perhaps I am just not intended to master.  Things that will only be accomplished in partnership with someone else.  Things that force humanity to connect with each other. 

That and because I have realised that writing the resolve as an 'I will not' has already resulted in my failure.  Lasted two days. 

Thus this year’s list of resolutions reads a little bit different after a deliberate redraft: 

And so in 2014, I hope to:     
·         To make more life decisions based on where I am going and not on how the road looks.
·         Concern myself less with the destination and enjoy the journey along the way. 
·         Collect alliances and friends.
·         Give my enemies less of my time and energy. 
·         Be deliberate about breaking down goals into actionable steps.
·         Respond rather than react to the curve balls that life throws.
·         Be quicker to forgive and let go. 
·         To fight fear and not allow it to control where, who and what can be done. 
·         To get the most out of each day and live with less worry and more joy.

And hopefully all that will enable me to change a little bit more of me...