Has the US gone ‘Coco’?

If I believed in reincarnation, I would seriously wonder about the past life of our puppy. 

Coco, who originated from two litters born at the same time which were amalgamated into one big mass of dogs; one of eleven, has a zest for life that is incorrigible.  So aside from sleeping in between pillows in the most bizarre and strange positions, hiding his head in the corner when he’s scared (I assume those to be reminiscent of the pile of puppies from whence he came), burrowing in mud immediately following his bath, chewing on his own foot and seeking out the garden sprinkler on a regular basis...   

 

He has a fascination for socks and underwear that he steals from the laundry basket and hides in the cushions of the sofa...

Yes, I know..., a huge embarrassing moment just waiting to happen.  Can’t wait until I have guests in my house sitting on my sofa and voila, behold, in lieu of a napkin, we have... 

Needless to say he has some seriously dodgy, doggy proclivities. 

But this is not new; we all seem to have taken a little baggage from our past.  The US election results were announced first week of November and I cannot help but wonder if the results aren’t remnant of some unearthed, age-old skeletons that many would prefer remain forgotten.   

For two weeks ago a country that is supposed to be the watchdog of democracy, freedom and prosperity (to those of us situated in floundering democracies), demonstrated that instead of constructive vision and integrity, racism and sexism now gets you to one of the most powerful positions in the world; a position that is ironically supposed to uphold the value of humanity. 

A serious bone of contention, I’d say. 

The scary part is: that when you fail to deal with your past, it usually destroys your future. 

Talk to us, we know... it’s a pursuit of objectives SA is also busy with.  Corruption, violence, racism,... we too are working hard to pee on the hard earned progress made under the constructive leadership of the likes of former SA President Nelson Mandela.    

     

I just hope that for the sake of Americans and the rest of the world, US President Elect Trump’s vision is to truly make America great and not to be the biggest dog with the largest bone at the expense of the United States and the rest of the world. 

For if destructive ideology got him into the white house, I for one, seriously have my doubts as to his intention to be America’s knight in shining armor rather than the dog who bares his teeth at everyone else... Grrrr. 

I believe Trump’s election to office is a reflection of something called ‘mathematical visioning’ ¹ which is a calculated reflection of what the [almost] majority have been thinking but not saying aloud.  But thanks to a secret ballot, that voice has now been heard. 

Unfortunately sometimes, it really is a good idea to hide your dirty laundry, not air it out in public. 

And hopefully in a hiding place a little more strategic than Coco’s. 

For according to Trump’s account of the American reality, many Americans may find themselves falling short of Trump’s definition of ‘American’... in his quest to restore “law and order,” “secure borders “ and provide “protection from terrorism.” 

And Barack, sorry, US President Barack Obama, you might be one of them.  But then again, since you have accumulated a large pile of bones, maybe you can stay... 

Needless to say, Trump has clearly communicated his intention to do more ‘sniffing around’. 

Destructive leaders like to brand themselves as the ‘solution in times of trouble’ and ‘the only one who can’ and who leverage fear and control as opposed to influence as the stick of change and tell you that it’s the best thing you can do ‘for your children’. 

All I can say is that from a leadership perspective; beware the lone wolf. 

So like Coco, who exhibits no tact and no consideration as to the consequences of his actions, we find that for the sake of all those involved and in a proactive effort to avoid the potential embarrassment he can cause, he, like tyranny, sometimes requires a leash.

¹ Hamburger, Yair Amichai. (2000) Mathematical Leadership Vision.  The Journal of Psychology. 134(6), 601-611. 

Garden Spooks and Change

Although I live in Africa and it is supposed to be warm – well that is the international stereotype of ‘Africa’ in any case, I need to put frost guard on my garden every year if I want to preserve my plants for the next growing season because at night we can get some serious frost. 

And so I pull out big white sheets of frost guard and cover the areas of the garden that have plants which cannot tolerate the cold.  And every year without fail, the dog, a little black schnauzer, reacts with a ferocious irritation at the changes to his garden. 

For the first week he attacks the covers and pulls them off.  He regularly gets himself tangled in his efforts to fight the new additions to the garden because they cover areas of ground he is accustomed to patrolling and he is unwilling to change his behaviour.  And then my frost guard gets a life of its own, while he jumps and scratches at it in an effort to find his way back out.  And if it wasn’t for the 9 meters of white frost guard trailing behind this little ghost of a dog, one would almost have to look twice at this garden spook.

And every evening I am forced to go out and put the frost guard back much to my own irritation.

Thus it would seem the nature of change requires chaos. 

A change in direction requires force and energy.

A change in thinking requires a paradigm shift.

A deliberate life change requires energy and intent.

Whatever the case, from somewhere, somehow, change requires different input(s).  

Sometimes change is easier when the inputs are from external sources and change is reactionary not deliberate.  It saves ourselves from the necessity of considering options and creating a shift for which by virtue of consequence, we will be held accountable for and, by virtue of the numerous variables in life, we may get the wrong outcome and regret in hindsight - in which case one could always seek to attempt to change it again.       

But deliberate change requires choice.  It is a calculated decision to destabilise our environment and create chaos with the intention of creating new outcomes; a plan to change one’s way of thinking and make a new behaviour choice; an internal input of something new into an old situation.  

And yet the first reaction to change seems to be fear.  A worry about what is not known.  An attachment (sometimes illogical and unexplainable) to what we know even if what we know is not working well for us. 

What I don’t seem to be willing to understand is the unwillingness of humanity to honestly ask whether one is satisfied with the status quo at present?

And if the answer is ‘no’, why not change it? 

Perhaps the change you fear is little more than a garden spook.    

 

Life's Re-Start

So I have been a little lax... Is 'lax' even a real word?  Okay, I've gone full on missing in cyberspace.  Interestingly enough, there was no search party.  No queries.  Nothing.  

And that's way a cyber relationship is not real people... 

But that said, when I started this blog, it was my intention to create dialogue.  To open a conversation, trigger some thought and say something real. 

It was my hope that people would start to follow ideas and not personalities.  But given the number of visits to the 'blogger profile', that seems to be just a pipe dream...   

But I haven't given up hope yet...

Life experience has taught me that often social truths are mistaken for reality.  Intentions mistook for outcomes and little of what we think we know, is actually the way things are. 

Wisdom has shown me that intentions are sometimes more important than outcomes.  Social truths are things other people do not want you to question and simply accept as given, usually because they serve someone else's purpose.  And that truth, when revealed to yourself can truly set you free. 

So consider this:  

Our starting point in life is always where we are now... 

Our past we cannot change, we can only change how we view it. 

Our future depends largely on the perspective we take of our past.   

Our present determines that perspective. 

So have the courage to look a little deeper.  Ask more questions.  Change something.    

Even if its simply a change in perspective. 

 

The Seeds of Worry - the desire for change

Between the two sayings, “Don’t worry, things will get better” and “Stupidity is continuing to do the same thing and expecting different results;” which one is actually true?

There is something about these statements, I find inherently frustrating.  Aside from the blatant contradictions they seem to imply, they somehow enable the person who utters them an air of condescending wisdom and intelligence and yet place the recipient in a position of passive acceptance and a state of an implied dullness of mind. 

They are not at all empowering.  And yet they sound believable, like they should at some level be true.  They simultaneously imply a pearl of wisdom that is present and yet evasive, leaving you with exactly nothing to go on.  Advice that simply cannot get better from the condescending throne of implied infinite knowledge and wisdom and yet cannot get worse given its chronic uselessness in reality and practical application.       

Could it be that “don’t worry, things will get better” is a statement that refers to the natural passing of time, which in turn, has the capacity to change things?  Or perhaps, its intent is to remind humanity that worry itself is neither conducive for change nor the happy passage of time.  And that in and of itself, worry is essentially an activity that is non-productive.

And yet on the other hand, the other statement suggests that a continuous course of same actions will yield the same result which would essentially undermine and suggests that the previous statement is perhaps a false one.

 A statement aimed at relieving the spokesperson from any responsibility in the circumstances.  “Don’t worry things will get better,” usually combined with a pacifying pat on the back.  A statement of false information.  One intended to build false hope and false expectations.  One that exonerates them from taking a course of action that would directly involve them in the course of events causing the state of worry to start with?  One intended to pardon their lack of interest and involvement in something.  Whatever that something might be.      

An excuse.

A declaration of distance. 

A polite way of saying, ‘please just do not involve me in this thing’. 

Alternatively consider the validity of the statement that “stupidity is continuing to take the same course of action and expecting different results”; is that true?  It can be.  In mathematics it’s a true statement.  Often in relationships it is also very true.  But there are times when taking an umbrella to work may be useful one day and unnecessary the next.  Thus, the same course of action yields different results.  So perhaps this statement holds true in circumstances where the variables are held constant but not always in cases where we do not control all the variables.  And life, as a rule, tends to fall in the latter category. 

And thus the time factor becomes relevant yet again. 

Time seems to be one variable we cannot control. 

Thus could it be possible, that the issue here is actually neither and the questions we are asking: the wrong ones. 

And so perhaps the question needs to be; for how long?  For how long are we willing to tolerate the state of worry or for how long are we willing to take the same results again and again by following the same course of action?

Isn't worry itself a state of ‘wanting change’ and not having the courage or the course of action within reach to pursue it?     

Is stupidity than just a higher level of commitment to a repetitive course of action? 

And so the question we need to be asking is: for how long? 

How long before we change it? 

 

A Life of Wayward Ducks

A midlife crisis is characterized by a period in life caught somewhere between looking back and looking forward in our perceived assumption that we are somewhere in the middle of our expected life span.  It is a perception which causes many to make some crazy decisions to convince oneself that youth is still within one’s grasp.  But since I am only 29, that simply cannot be what I am experiencing. (I am saving that for much later, I am a firm believer that everyone is entitled to reclaiming as much of youth as possible).      

So the last few weeks I have been facing the ghosts of Christmas past having returned to the community in which I grew up.  The tragic haunting of decisions made that have altered the course of my life and set me on the path I am on at the moment.   

The what if’s of boyfriends past for example.  Have you ever wondered how different life would have turned out if you had made different decisions? Perhaps this is a process that is a reflection of not yet fully finding the path that one is intended to be on.  Or maybe everyone has a collection of what if’s stored in their closet.  I am not sure, but in any case it is a mental activity that my brain is quite happy to engage with; mostly with somewhat disastrous results.       

For me, coming from a small town, now living in a huge city, my life path would have been a very different one.  Growing up it was assumed (especially for girls); that you would ‘grow-up (I know, fancy that), get married, settle down and raise children’.  Aside from not being on the expected path, (my life has veered so far away it is simply not even possible to find the original path back) to be honest, that is one thing that I do not regret.  I am glad to be rid of that set of expectations, both imposed by others and adopted by myself through the process of societal expectation.        

Thankfully my journey of mental ‘what if’s yields more amusement and relief than regret, reminding me that life is more about the journey than the destination as it would seem that mine is a life where the destination continually evades me. 

Perhaps that is my excuse (a life of wayward ducks rather than an inability to get my ducks in a row), or because life lived as a series of end points quickly becomes stagnant. 

If one’s life objective is to marry, for example, what happens beyond that point?        

And so the trip back home reflects back on the ‘where’s of this happened and that happened and the ‘remember when’s of days gone by’.        

And while some places and faces are familiar and easy to recall despite the increase of wrinkles and grey hair and other changes, I sometimes need to remind myself that I too aged in the interim, at least until I turned 29.    

In some ways ironically, the community seems much the same but somehow I feel an increasing sense of displacement and wonder how easy it would be to return to live here. 

The reality is simply this, it is me that has done the most changing.

Whether that change was for better or worse…, well I suppose that would depend on whom you are asking.  

The jury is still out on that one… 

 

A Tribute to Former President Nelson Mandela

The passing of Former South African President Nelson Mandela features on front page news around the world.

Its a modern day Joseph story; spend 27 years in prison as a political prisoner and end up as the president of a country. It was a life that has captured the imaginations of people world-wide.

Being overseas at the moment I feel like I am watching the events through the lens of someone else's perception. I cannot help but notice that along with a life that large, comes a huge amount of expectation.

What is highlighted regularly is the gap between the political freedom of South Africa and its continued lack of economic freedom. So the question for me is this one.

Whose responsibility is it? Can the lack of economic opportunity be attributed to the shortcomings of the life of a single man? Or is that an expectation of an icon that has been made to be larger than life?

And so: Is his greatness attributable to the positions he filled or the convictions he held?

I doubt that during the Rivonia Trial, Nelson Mandela saw his future as the President of South Africa. At that point I can imagine he only saw possible death or a life spent in prison.

He was a man who simply valued his beliefs more than he valued his life. And so justice, freedom and equality were ideals for which he was prepared to lose his life.

His memorial attracted the who's who of the world.  And the cynic in me cannot help but wonder if it is the values of equality, justice and freedom that the world wants so desperately to publicly associate with or is it the last opportunity to rub off a little of 'Madiba's magic'?  

And so to carry on the legacy of Nelson Mandela is to adopt his thinking not necessarily his political party. A country and world that holds the ideals of justice, freedom and equality as standards for which people are prepared to die, will build a bright future for itself.

But to a large extent it would appear that these ideals are ones which people feel they are entitled too, rather than feel inclined to sacrifice for or work toward.

When ideals are held higher than life itself, that is when history changes. It is when the church grows, tyrannical governments lose power, new regimes get established and justice starts to win over injustice.

Although the world might see former President Nelson Mandela as an icon. Nelson Mandela himself, did not. Having met him a few years back as part of a youth service programme for which I worked, Nelson Mandela himself was touched that a group of young people had the time to come and visit 'an old man'. A comment to which one of the participants of the programme said, "It's like Nelson Mandela doesn't know that he is Nelson Mandela". And therein lay his greatness.

Fighting a struggle because you have nothing to lose, is a fight that has many willing participants. Taking up a cause that will potentially cost you everything you have, is a war that attracts very few warriors.

And that was the greatness of Nelson Mandela. Rest in Peace Tata Madiba.  May your legacy live on... the world needs it.